16. Bart's Dog Gets an F

Episode Title: Bart's Dog Gets an F
Episode Number: 29
Original Air Date:  March 7, 1991

Plot Synopsis: As the episode begins, Santa's Little Helper is going through his day inadvertently causing as much trouble as possible. He eats Homer's breakfast and then later escapes from the backyard and goes into a random elderly neighbor's pool for a swim. He's not the most well-behaved dog on the planet, is the point. Right around this time we also find out that Lisa has the mumps and is going to have to stay home from school for at least a week. Additionally, Homer sees Stupid Flanders out and about for a jog and is immediately jealous of his new "Assassins" sneakers.

Because Santa's Little Helper is destroying everything in sight, the family sends him to obedience school. The "Assassins" shoes cost $125, which in 1991 was the equivalent of about $10,000 in today's money. Homer heads to the mall and, after imagining Flanders giving him an order to waste his money on dumb sneakers, buys them. Meanwhile, Marge is filling Lisa's time by teaching her to sew. They work on Marge's family heirloom quilt together. A short time later, Santa's Little Helper manages to destroy both Homer's shoes and the quilt (and Homer's awesome-looking cookie). Homer proclaims that they're giving the dog away. Bart makes him a deal - he gets to keep the dog if it passes obedience school. Homer, not seeing a scenario where the dog could ever do that, agrees.

No matter how hard Bart tries, he just can't get the dog to do anything right. The end appears to be nigh - Homer is going to give the dog away. Lisa urges Bart to bond with the dog in their last hours together. Bart plays with him, and as a result Santa's Little Helper begins to respond to Bart's commands. The dog passes obedience school by the skin of his teeth, and Lisa starts a new quilt to replace the one the dog destroyed. Meanwhile, Homer still doesn't have his awesome new shoes or his awesome cookie.

Overall Thoughts: An entire episode almost entirely devoted to Santa's Little Helper is kind of daring. I mean, I know it isn't entirely devoted. There are both "B" and "C" stories here with Homer and his dumb shoes and Lisa staying home from school. And the episode isn't ABOUT Santa's Little Helper so much as it is about how everyone feels about Santa's Little Helper. But still. I'd be terrified to write an entire episode focused on a character that doesn't speak. But not only did they go for it, I think they pulled it off. Is this one of the best episodes of the season? No. But it's a solid "double up the middle," to use football terminology.

What Works: There are few things funnier than Homer when he thinks he's right in the seconds before he realizes that he's absolutely wrong. The notable example in this episode is when the Simpsons' old neighbor calls to bitch about Santa's Little Helper, who Homer insists is tied up in the back yard. Homer is fighting this particular point SO HARD, and it's very funny when he realizes that the dog escaped.

"Santa's Little Helper vision" is a fun mixture of half "serial killer," half "Raimi-cam from THE EVIL DEAD." I think it's supposed to be a PREDATOR reference, actually, but I like my explanation better.

Homer's story doesn't have a lot of payoff, but it ties into the main story of the episode quite nicely and doesn't overstay its welcome. Homer is jealous of Flanders' fancy new shoes. Homer wants fancy new shoes of his own. He goes to the mall, can't afford them, buys them anyway after he imagines Flanders ordering him to, and Santa's Little Helper eats them. It's very simple.

By the time Santa's Little Helper ruins Marge's family quilt late in the episode, it legitimately hurts. When Marge Simpson is sad, the audience is sad. That's the signs of a great, fleshed-out character.

This episode also proves that Bart legitimately loves Santa's Little Helper, and it's quite touching. We haven't seen a ton of Santa's Little Helper since "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire," but I really do like that he's not forgotten. Every once and awhile I think you need an episode like this to reaffirm a character relationship, even if one of the characters in question is arguably the world's stupidest dog.

There is a GREAT payoff to "Santa's Little Helper vision" towards the end when, after an entire episode of hearing people speak as variations of "Blah blah BLAH blah," the dog finally hears Bart say "Blah blah blah SIT." It's really pretty terrific.

What Doesn't Work: A surprising amount of this episode is just Santa's Little Helper destroying stuff and causing trouble. I like the stuff at the beginning, and I really like when he destroys the quilt, but all the stuff in the middle I can take or leave, to be honest.

Also, the episode ends with a really half assed "Animal House" homage that doesn't work. The title cards for all the dogs graduating from Canine School go by too quick, aren't funny and the other two are referencing dogs that we barely ever saw. A nitpick? Absolutely!

Closing Thoughts:  Santa's Little Helper has long since outgrown his role as "Bart's dumb dog," but it's nice to see that he actually advanced to his current position naturally by way of episodes like this rather than arbitrarily coming to fill that role after the writers didn't really have a use for him anymore. Even the animals on "The Simpsons" see more character development than what is found on most other sitcoms.

One last notable item from this episode: Troy McClure appears on television, very briefly, and isn't voiced by Phil Hartman! That's wacky!

Final Grade (out of 10): 8