14. Principal Charming

Episode Title: Principal Charming
Episode Number: 27
Original Air Date:  February 14, 1991

Plot Synopsis: Homer gets Marge to get Patty and Selma to watch the kids so that they can try out a new all-you-can-eat barbecue restaurant. In return, Marge calls in a nigh-impossible favor: Homer has to find Selma a man. Patty and Selma recently attended a wedding and she realized that her time to find a suitable mate is running out.

Bart burns his own name into the grass at school like the dummy he is, and while meeting with Skinner Homer realizes that he may have just found Selma a husband. Homer invites Skinner over for dinner with the intention of setting up Selma. Instead, Skinner inexplicably falls for Patty. Wakka wakka wakka. At Selma's insistence, Patty ends up going out with Skinner regardless of the fact that she doesn't really care about him at all. Selma says that this is her last chance to find a man, so she might as well make the best of it (more or less).

Skinner tries to get to Patty through Bart. Bart, in turn, uses the opportunity to vandalize more things at school because "Skinner works for him now." Meanwhile, Homer's still trying to hook Selma up with just about anyone, and she and Barney Gumble go on a date to Moe's. Marge really doesn't think setting Selma up with Barney as a good idea which, to be fair, is totally not a good idea.

Skinner proposes to Patty, who flat out turns him down due in equal parts to disinterest and an undying loyalty to her sister. Patty heads to Moe's to save Selma from Barney, and the two go off together. Skinner returns to his former dictatorial glory and makes Bart re-sod the grass at school.

Overall Thoughts: I've never loved Patty and/or Selma when one of them isn't almost getting murdered by Sideshow Bob, and this episode is certainly no exception. Look, I get what this episode was trying to do, and in that regard I suppose it's successful, but it just isn't for me, I guess.

What Works: I like this episode a lot more in concept more than in execution. So to focus on the good things:

I like that we're spending time with secondary characters. I've gone on before about how fleshing out the background characters is a great, effective way to really build up a believable and real environment for our main characters. So I like that. I just wish those characters weren't Patty and Selma. I like those two when they're serving their primary function as "Marge's annoying sisters who hate Homer." I'm not against them becoming "real people," for lack of a better term, but again: I just don't like them enough to spend a whole episode with them.

I like that, even though it isn't the focus, Bart and Skinner's relationship is further explored. Bart very quickly decides to use Skinner's love of Patty (or Selma - who can remember) to his advantage to get away with more vandalism-related things at school. When Skinner and... let's go with Selma call it quits, Skinner bounces back and returns he and Bart's relationship to its normal status. It's a solid B-plot.

The performances in this episode are good. Harry Shearer in particular is great. I think this is the most time we've spent with Skinner thus far, and I do like seeing his hopeless romantic side.

There are a few, and I mean a FEW, solid jokes here. Marge has a great line about celibacy being thrust upon Patty (or Selma, as I can't remember now). I also like the idea that Bart's desire to cause trouble is greater than his own sense of self preservation as he burns his own name into the yard at school. Skinner points out that "there are no other Barts," and that he must have known he would be caught.

What Doesn't Work: It's a sweet enough story, but again: I've never really cared for Patty and Selma, like at all. So on the whole, this episode doesn't do a whole lot for me. When I'm basically saying that I didn't care at all about the primary story of the episode, that turns into a problem (for me, at least) pretty quickly. Likewise, this episode doesn't do anything to make me care about Patty and Selma. It's not really fair to call that particular part a "failure" per say, as it's my issue that I don't like Marge's sisters, but it's still an issue.

It's also not that funny, and it has jokes that are falling flat for the first time this season. The extended "Terminator" parody/homage as Homer hunts for a man for Marge's sister, in my opinion, just doesn't work at all. It's not that funny, and it's breaking from the established reality of the series in a way that totally isn't worth it.

There's also a bizarre/dumb callback that I don't like. Bart prank calls Moe's with a request for "Homer Sexual," and later on during the "Terminator" bit Homer lists one of Skinner's downsides as being a "possible homer sexual." It's just a dumb joke that I don't think is funny. Those are just a few of the examples of jokes that really fail to land in this episode.

This is definitely not one of the best of this season, and in fact is the low point thus far.

Closing Thoughts: According to Wikipedia this episode has its fans, but I definitely can't say that I'm among them. Honestly, early-looking animation notwithstanding, if you showed someone this episode and told them it was from about ten years later they'd be hard pressed to argue. I just don't think it's very good, and it marks the first real blemish on an otherwise stellar season two.

Also: Hans Moleman appears here for the first time, and he's much creepier than ever before. He's so tiny, and he looks more like a tiny brown turtle than he will in the future. His name is also Ralph Melish, apparently, according to his driver's license.

Final Grade (out of 10): 6